it's up to Him

6 Nov

Tomorrow might be the first day of life for our first sweet baby.

I am so far beyond excited.  And thankful.  And I would be lying if I said I’m not scared to death as well.

We are slated to arrive at the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow morning for retrieval.  The last few weeks have been such a challenging whirlwind.  We’ve given me shots while standing anywhere from the Whole Foods parking lot to a stairwell we snuck into during a Halloween party to the middle of the Colbie Caillat concert.  Life has carried on despite the ultrasounds, blood work, pills and needles…but it’s been different.  The anticipation of this IVF event has changed the tone of everything the last several weeks.  And it’s all come down to the next couple of weeks (no pressure).

I have never prayed harder in my entire life than I have in the last few weeks.  I’ve prayed constantly that God would enable my body to do what it’s supposed to do.  So far, He has.  Everything leading up to now couldn’t have gone better, and I couldn’t feel more confident going into this next phase.  Unfortunately that doesn’t make our percentage any higher, but I am so thankful that He has chosen to bring us this far.

I’ve also prayed that God will give me the courage to trust him first and foremost.  That whether our little babies survive and have the chance to develop or not, I will trust Him with our future. I will trust that He has a plan, and that plan will be carried out no matter what. This is my biggest request to my Heavenly Father.  I believe He is faithful.

So, please pray with us.  I’ve got needle marks all over, cramps in my stomach and emotions ranging across the board.  But I’ve got so much hope inside.  I’ve tried to figure out how to walk the tightrope of being positive, but protecting myself for so many months; this month I stopped trying.  I put my heart out there, and I’ve done every thing I could…

Now it’s all up to Him.

12 Responses to “it's up to Him”

  1. debbie November 6, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    my prayers have been the same as yours for you and Jon – I pray above and beyond what the doctors can do – only our Father can orchestrate that. I do pray that a little one might be in our future real soon. I pray for you and Jon that you may realize a peace that passes all understanding.Love you both

  2. Malissa November 6, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    I’m excited for you guys and I will be praying for a perfect result!

  3. Linda November 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    I just said a prayer for you guys. I prayed what you put in your post, and that God would bring you closer to Him and to each other during this time.

  4. Sarah November 7, 2011 at 12:00 am #

    Wow, lots of prayers coming your way. Lots of love xxx

  5. Halley (Blunder Construction) November 7, 2011 at 7:42 am #

    candice, you are in my thoughts and prayers today! your patience and strength will carry you through the rest of this journey! looking forward to an update!

  6. amber@SAHM's musings November 8, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    praying for perfect peace through it all. xo

  7. Alison November 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    It is so encouraging to read about your trust and faith in God. Couldn’t agree more with all of the above. Will be praying for you even though it’s been a week since you wrote this. Hope you are at peace right now.

    • candice January 4, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

      Alison –
      I know you left this comment quite awhile ago, but I just wanted to thank you so much for the thoughtful prayers and the sweet comment. It really meant so much to me. I hope that everything is going well for you!


  8. Laura December 23, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    Was thinking of you today, Candice, and thought I’d head over to your blog. What an incredible journey you’re on. Hope that this comment finds you well (and with child!). Happy Holidays to you and your family.

    • candice January 4, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

      Thank you so much for the thoughts and well wishes – they mean so so much! I hope you had a wonderful and peaceful holiday and that everything is going well for you:)

  9. Sarah January 2, 2012 at 6:33 am #

    Candice, I miss you! I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. Email if you can/get the chance, it would be good to catch up 🙂


    • candice January 4, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

      I just emailed you!

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