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happy 5 months, vivi

4 Dec

we are so very much alike, sweet girl.  And lately I worry that because of that we will have to work at not driving each other crazy.  But I also know that will help us to understand each other better and bond us together in the best of ways.  You’ve only been in our world for 5 months, and I already can’t imagine my life without you!

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 9 lbs. 7 oz.

What you eat – you are still nursing full time.  Sometimes mama gets worried because you will eat for less than 10 minutes and then stop.  If I try to make you eat more you scream, but if I just let you lay there and look around you’re perfectly happy.  It’s hard to believe you can get all you want in that short amount of time, but I’m starting to learn that as along as you’re happy and content, then I’ll let you lead the way!  You eat about every 3- 3.5, sometimes 4 hours, but only because bubba gets ready.  Sometimes I wonder if you’d ever eat if it wasn’t for him.  You rarely act like you’re very hungry.  I guess you’re just not a big eater!  We’re having a little trouble sorting out your evening schedule right now.  Because you are stretching your feedings out a little more, your last feeding ends up landing at about 9 o’clock, which mama thinks is a little late by the time you get your bath and get in bed.  But I also don’t want to drop one of your feedings yet…so we’re trying to figure out a good solution.  After your last feeding, you go to bed and sleep for about 3 hours before I get you up and feed you again.  You don’t even wake up to eat that feeding…you’re pretty good at eating in your sleep!  After that you don’t eat again until 7:30.

How you sleep – You love to sleep!  Naps are so so easy with you now.  When you get sleepy, I go in the nursery, turn on your sound machine, swaddle you and lay you down and you go right to sleep.  You usually sleep for at least an hour and a half if not longer.  You now get to keep one arm out of your swaddle so you can suck on your fingers.  As long as you have your fingers you sleep just fine and don’t even wake up mid-nap.  Same story at night.  You are out like a light.  Other than your 11:30 feeding, which you don’t even wake up for, you sleep straight through until about 6:30 or 7.  Then you lay in bed and talk to yourself until we get you up to eat around 7:30.

What you wear – You are now fully in 0-3 months size.  All your up to seven pounds sized stuff is too small, but I’m having a little bit of a problem packing it away so for now it’s still taking up space in your closet.  One of these days I pull myself together and put it away.  As much as I love the fact that you are growing, I just can’t bear the thought of losing my tiny little baby girl.

Diaper – You are now wearing the regular sized Bum Genius Freetime all in one diaper.  It fits you great and rarely leaks at all.  Sometimes we snap it on the tightest setting, but sometimes we even leave a snap open in the middle.

Favorite activities – sitting up facing out, hearing the sound of tape being pulled, holding/chewing on your sophie teether, sleeping, standing up, bathtime, holding hands with bubba

Least favorite activities:  getting burped, laying down on your back

Big moments in your fifth month of life – Slept through the night! Started reaching for toys, rolled from your front to your back, lifted your upper body up during tummy time, first trip staying the night at Grandma’s in Harrah, first trip staying the night at Uncle Jamie and Aunt Kristin’s in Tulsa

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about 2 years ago…

30 Oct

Jon and I were shopping around in the Plaza District and we ended up in a store that carries some handmade items.  At the time we were trying really hard to have a baby with no luck at all, and were on the cusp of our infertility journey.  As we were shopping I spotted the sweetest little crocheted purple and white hat, and the second I laid eyes on it I knew I had to have it.  Feeling a bit silly, I splurged on this sweet little gift for the future baby we didn’t even know if we would have.  I went home that day (we were living with my parents at the time) and tucked the brown paper bag away, knowing that if I looked at it everyday it would just make me sad.  A matter of months later we finally moved into our new house, and I found a special place on my closet shelf.  Oftentimes I would glimpse the edge of the bag as I was hanging up clothes or debating over what to wear to work, and I’d feel a tinge of sadness, but also a surge of hope.

After many months of waiting and uncertainty, a long pregnancy complete with bedrest at home, time in the hospital, 17 days in the NICU and a glorious 4 months with my sweet baby girl, I finally got to fish the little hat out of my closet and plop it on her perfect little head.

My heart is full.

happy happy 4 months, sweet Vivi

29 Oct

There are so many things I love so much about you as you grow and change.  I love the way you stop nursing at times and just turn and stare at me with the sweetest little look on your face.  I love how you have new, spiky little hairs growing in, but also still long hairs that seem to still be in place from when you were born.  I love how big your cheeks have continually gotten and the way they make your eyes crinkle up when you smile.  I love how you are so big to stand on your own, but you are still so wobbly and jerky from the waist up because you’re still my tiny baby girl.  I love how delicate your little fingernails are and how they contrast with your chubby little hands and wrists.  I love how squishy you have become.  I love how your little feet and ankles look when you stand up.

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 8 lbs. 6 oz.

What you eat – nursing full time still! Right now you are still eating every 3 hours during the day.  At the end of this month Dr. Sigler finally gave us permission to let you sleep until you wake up at night, and the first time we let you, you slept almost 10 hours!  I fed you at about 7:30, we put you in your crib about 9, and you slept until 4:30 am!  We couldn’t believe it.  You did that several nights in a row, and then we noticed you weren’t gaining weight any more.  So, we started giving you a dream feed around 10:30.  For some reason you just don’t sleep quite as well or as long the more we wake you up to eat, so as of this week we’ve been waking you up to eat around 2 or 3, and we’re hoping your weight gain will be okay.  Sometimes we still struggle with you falling asleep when you’re supposed to be eating, but you’re getting better all the time.
How you sleep – You are still our good little sleeper.  You sleep awesome at night.  Right now we put you down after your bath at about 9 o’clock and you sleep until 4am unless we wake you up earlier to eat. Then you go back down and wake up about 7 – 7:30.  You never cry at night, and I have to wake you to eat.  Sometimes I wonder if you’d just keep right on sleeping until morning if we let you.  Naptime has been a little hard this month.  You eat about every 3 hours now, and your naps range from an hour and fifteen minutes to an hour and a half.   You still cry a little bit while you’re falling asleep, but not for very long.  I can always count on your to pass out pretty soon after I put you down.  Usually you wake up after about 45 minutes, but I just give you your paci and we’re good to go!  Hopefully we’ll keep getting better!

What you wear – One of my favorite things in the world is dressing you up.  You are so darn cute in everything!  I try to coordinate you and Linc when I can, but sometimes you just have to be your own girlJ  You can technically still fit in the up to seven lbs. size from Gap, but it is really getting too small for you.  0-3 months clothes fit you really well, aside from some pants and tights.
Diaper – You are still wearing the Bum Genius newborn sized cloth diaper.  Although the other day I tried the bigger sized Bum Genius on you, and it fit you pretty well.  As soon as we can purchase them, we’ll probably go ahead and move you up!
Favorite activities – bath time, being toted around the house while being held up where you can see everything, swinging, sitting in your Bumbo seat, standing up

Least favorite activities:  the end of playtime when you start to get sleepy (you get mad!), laying down where you can’t see what’s going on, getting burped (although you’re really good at itJ), moving from the bathtub to your towel when you’re wet, tummy time

Big moments in your fourth month of life – your first laugh, first trip to church, linking arms and holding hands with Linc, first time to stay home with mama without Linc

happy 3 months, Vivi

30 Sep

Now that you are three months old, I feel like it has been a very long time since I’ve gotten any good sleep, and sometimes that makes me kind of grumpy.  Just today at lunch I told your daddy that despite my grumpiness I wanted him to know how much I love getting to stay home with you and your brother.  For every moment in the day that I feel tired, there are a thousand more that make me feel on top of this world, just because they are spent with you.  Daddy responded by telling me that he already knows that because he can see it in my eyes.  Even at 3:30 am when I get up to nurse you, he can see it in my eyes.

from mama’s three month letter to you

What you weigh – 7 lbs. 7 oz.

What you eat – nursing full time still!

How you sleep – Aside from a few day span last week, you are still our good little sleeper.  You sleep awesome at night.  Right now we put you down after your bath at about 8 o’clock and you sleep until 1am.  You eat and then you sleep until about 4:30am.  Then you go back down and wake up about 7 – 7:30.  You never cry at night, and I have to wake you to eat.  You usually look at me like “what in the world are you doing waking me up?!”  There’s no telling how long you’d go if we let you wake us up.  I hope we get to find out sometime soonJ  Naptime has been a little hard this month.  You eat about every 3 hours now, and your naps range from an hour and a half to an hour and forty five minutes.  Most of this month, your daddy and I have had a really hard time getting you to nap.  You want to wake up and cry ever 20 minutes or so!  But recently you’ve gotten better to where you usually cry for just a couple of minutes when I lay you down, but it doesn’t take long for you to pass out.  Usually you wake up after about 45 minutes, but I just give you your paci and we’re good to go!  Hopefully we’ll keep getting better!

What you wear – One of my favorite things in the world is dressing you up.  You are so darn cute in everything!  I try to coordinate you and Linc when I can, but sometimes you just have to be your own girlJ  You are still wearing your “up to seven pounds” clothes from Gap, but they are getting smaller and smaller.  You also wear some 0-3 months stuff now too.

Diaper – You are still wearing the Bum Genius newborn sized cloth diaper.

Favorite activities – bath time, being toted around the house while being held up where you can see everything, swinging, sitting in your Bumbo seat, bouncing

Least favorite activities:  the end of playtime when you start to get sleepy (you get mad!), laying down where you can’t see what’s going on, getting burped (although you’re really good at itJ)

Big moments in your third month of life – your first overnight trip with mama and daddy to Dallas, your first smile

happy two months, baby girl

4 Sep

{a few weeks late}

You like to lay on your activity mat and look around, but most of all you like to sit up where you can see everything.  You really love it when we walk around the house with you holding you up where you can see what’s going on. As your daddy says, you are an independent girl!

– from mama’s letter to you

sorry sweet girl, I couldn’t resist:)

What you weigh – 6 lbs 2 ounces
What you eat
– nursing full time!
How you sleep
– some restlessness but overall you’re a good sleeper!  You sometimes get a little mad when we put you down for your nap, but we can usually soothe you and you’ll go to sleep.  You’re on a 21/2 hour schedule where you nap for about an hour and fifteen minutes every cycle.  During the night, you usually will go a four hour stretch without eating, and the rest 3 hour stretches.  That’s all we let you do right now because we’re trying to get you to gain weight still, but the other night we accidentally slept through the alarm and you went 5 hours!
What you wear
– I’ve started dressing you everyday now, and you are so cute in all your little clothes.  Preemie sizes are too small for you now, and the up to 7 lbs size from Gap fits you just perfectly.
Diaper
– You wore your last preemie sized diaper during your 8th week as well as your last newborn sized disposable.  Now you’re in newborn Bum Genius full time, although they’re still a tad big.
Favorite activities
– bath time, being toted around the house while being held up where you can see everything, watching your queen of hearts doll
Least favorite activities –  waiting to eat, getting lotion rubbed on you
Big moments in your second month of life – started wearing cloth diapers, focused your eyes and followed an object, met your grandpa Hal for the first time, started holding your head up much better, stayed home without mama and daddy for the first time

hey peeps! it's me, Vivian

14 Aug

Hey peeps!

Mama’s just getting around to giving this update because yesterday she was busy writing lots of other stuff.  Oh, and hanging out with me and my brother.  That’s right.

Yesterday and today were both epic days for me.  Yesterday mama was playing with me while Linc was finishing his lunch.  She held up my Sophie teething ring and I focused my eyes on it and even followed it to the left, the right and up and down.  Mama almost made me dizzy!  She got so excited because she had never seen me do that before.

But that wasn’t the only trick up my sleeve.  Today I started holding my head up all by myself.  It’s still a little wobbly, but I don’t need any help.  I love to look around and see everything around me.  I can’t wait to get outside once Dr. Stanford gives us the okay.   Daddy tells me there is so much more to see!

Tonight I weighed in at 6 lbs and 1 ounce.  I finally got out of the fives!  That means I’ve gained 2 lbs and 4 ounces since I was born 8 weeks ago.  Mama still calls me her tiny girl, but I’m getting so big!

Look how much I’ve changed since I was only a few days old.

the story of lincoln and vivian's arrival. part 1.

14 Aug

I’m not sure where to even begin in writing the story of Lincoln and Vivian’s birth.  It will most likely not be eloquent or orderly, rather it’ll be a compilation of everything I can remember from the most intense few weeks of my life.

Most everyone knows how long Jon and I waited for a baby and everything we went through to get pregnant.  It was such a long journey, and when we finally got pregnant, I thought the crazy part was over.  I expected to have an uneventful pregnancy and the birth I had always imagined, coming out with a perfect little baby in the end.  When we found out we were having twins, those expectations didn’t really change.  Despite the predictions of so many about preterm labor, I truly believed I’d carry the twins until they were full term.  At one point, maybe around week 25 or so, my doctor mentioned that he would want to induce me at 37 weeks if I hadn’t gone into labor by then.  Fully believing that these babies would stay inside me even longer than that I immediately began worrying about the idea of induction and researching the validity of such an idea, so that I could intelligently convince him otherwise.

As I expected, I did have a rather uneventful pregnancy.  Aside from a short scare about possibly having gestational diabetes (which I didn’t), every check-up went smoothly and every ultrasound was like a dream.  Until I was 30 weeks along.

It was May 23rd,  the last day of school for my students, and I was giving final exams and hugs all day.  School was buzzing with the excitement of summer, and knowing I wasn’t coming back I was saying extra goodbyes, accompanied by a few tears, and finishing packing up my classroom.  It was a crazy, busy, exciting and emotional day.

A couple of weeks before, my doctor had told me to schedule an ultrasound for the 23rd.  He wanted it done that week and the only day ultrasounds are done in his office is Wednesday, so there was no alternative.  Knowing it was my last day of school, I was stressed out because I didn’t want to miss saying bye to my kids.  After finding out it would be possible to move it to the next week, I debated forever about whether to do that or not.  Eventually (and with the input from Jon and my mom) I decided that seeing my babies was more important than being there for the end of my 2nd hour testing period, and I could just say goodbye to those students that morning before leaving.

So, that morning, I left school in a rush and headed to the hospital, suddenly so happy that I had kept my appointment and wondering how I could have even considered postponing it.  Jon met me there and we got to see our babies and ooh and aah over how perfect they were.  It was an epically smooth appointment just like all the others.  As part of the ultrasound, the tech was supposed to measure my cervix at the end.  After doing so, she told us that Dr. K wanted to check the measurements before we left, which had never been the procedure before.  So we waited.

About 10 minutes later, Dr. K’s nurse, Trish, walked in.  The moment I saw her face I knew something was not right.  She told us that the measurements showed that my cervix had shortened considerably and that I was to go home immediately, get into bed and not get out until the next morning at which point they wanted me to come back so Dr. K could check me himself.  I just sat there, dazed, for a few seconds.  At first I was just trying to process what she had just said.  Next, the fear hit.  How bad off was I?  Were the twins in danger of coming soon?  And last, all the crucial things I still needed to do to wrap things up at school flitted through my brain – finish giving final exams, grade final exams, pack up my files and such from my classroom, input and finalize grades etc.

After a few seconds of just staring at her, I explained that it was my last day of my job and that I really needed to go back.  With some persuasion on my part, she agreed that I could go back as long as I promised to stay glued to a chair and not get up and go home as soon as possible.  So that’s what I did.  Thus began my 2 weeks and 4 days of at-home bedrest.

To be continued…