Tag Archives: taking risks

fear and risks

1 Apr

First things first – don’t forget to enter my chia seed giveaway if you haven’t already!  Deadline is tonight at midnight!

Hey guys!  Happy April Fool’s Day!  I’ve only had one trick played on me today.  A couple of my super thoughtful and wonderful sophomores (insert eye roll) hid their cell phone up in the ceiling tiles of my classroom and then proceeded to call it incessantly during the next period.  Imagine the Lion King ring tone going off every 2 minutes throughout an entire class period.  Wonderful.

I’ve been very contemplative for the last couple of days. These pictures exhibit exactly how I’m feeling.

Picture taken on one of our outings to the villages during our year in Thailand

Picture taken on a boat in Halong Bay, Vietnam

Right now I’m in the midst of making a pretty big decision.  I don’t want to disclose any details yet, but I can’t help but write about it because it’s been on my mind constantly.

I have so many different thoughts swirling around in my mind.  One of them has to do with passion.  I am a firm believer that everyone has the ability to chase after something they want, and catch it if they have enough determination and discipline.  I think the one factor that often holds people back is fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of change.  Fear of taking risks.  Fear of failure.  Fear often paralyzes people and holds them back from living the story that God wants them to live.

My mom told me a story this morning about my step-dad’s dad (we’ll call him Steve).  When he was younger, he and his wife (we’ll call her Ann) lived in New York, and he worked for the FBI.  He hated living in New York and longed to move away from the busy city. When Ann became pregnant with their first baby, Steve knew he couldn’t live another day in the city.  So, he sent Ann ahead of him to a small town, and after quitting his job he soon joined her.  He didn’t have another job yet, and I can only imagine the fear he must have felt at taking that risk.  In the grand scheme of his life, however, that huge risk became just a small stepping stone that led him to where he wanted to be.  Needed to be.  In fact, he has lived quite a lovely story and has been blessed beyond measure.

This story reminded me of  an article I read not long ago.  This article made me really ponder this one question: what if?  What if I took that risk?  What if I actually threw myself full force into pursuing my dream?  What if I failed?  What if I allowed myself to live without abandon and without regret by pursuing my passions?  What if I stopped taking myself too seriously and gave myself a little more credit for the things I do well?  What if I stopped worrying more about what other people think of me than about what I think of myself?

When Jon and I decided to move to Thailand for a year, despite the fear, I kept coming back to this same conclusion: that if we didn’t go, we’d always wonder – what if?  What would it have been like?  What kind of relationships would we have built?  In what ways might God have changed us to be better than we were before?  I’m so glad I don’t have to wonder about those questions.  I want to look back on my life and see a story that possesses many victorious, joyful moments, yet also many difficult moments resulting from living so fervently that occasional failure was inevitable.  I’m praying that God will provide opportunities for this kind of story and give me the courage and the confidence to embrace them.

Sorry this post is a little heavy tonight.  But many things are heavy on my heart, and I need to talk them out, if even only in my head.  So, I ask you  – what might your “what if” questions be?  Please share them in the comments.  Feel free to make yours a little more specific.  Sometime soon I’ll share my own specifics with you, but for now I need to keep them under wraps:)  Thanks for understanding.

I hope to see you all again tonight for a wrap up of today’s eats – I’ve been a very bad food blogger the last couple of days, but I promise I’ve got photos just waiting to be unleashed:)

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