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happy six months sweet linc

19 Dec

You are such a happy little baby.  You rarely ever get fussy unless you’re hungry, and then we better all watch out!  I love getting to hang out with you during the days, and I know I am one of the luckiest people in the world to get to spend my days taking care of you.  This past week something tragic happened and several mamas and daddies lost their little ones.  I am having such a hard time dealing with the sadness I feel over it all, and so many times in the past week I have just sat and held you and your sister and just wept.  I weep because of how sad I am at the thought of even the possibility of losing you.  I weep out of happiness because I can hardly believe how blessed I am to have you in my life.  I weep out of sympathy for those families and for the loss they are dealing with.  I hope I never have to figure out how to function without you in my life, baby boy.  You and your sissy are daddy and I’s greatest joys.  We love you more than words can describe.  Thank you for being our boy.

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 11 lbs. 1 oz.

What you eat
– You are still exclusively nursing.  Not much has change since last month.  Your schedule is still fluctuating from day to day and we still aren’t very consistent, but we don’t care.  You are such a good little eater.

How you sleep –  You are sleeping really well these days.  You take 4 naps a day, each one about 45 minutes to an hour on average.  Some naps you cry a little bit before going to sleep, but if I put you down at just the right time, you can usually fall right asleep without crying.    You finally got to stop being swaddled for naps about a week ago, but you still get swaddled for bedtime.  During naps you sleep on your tummy, and I think you really love it.  You’ve started sleeping better than ever since we started it.

What you wear – You are in 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes.

Diaper – Still wearing Bum Genius Freetime on the smallest setting.  Still loving them!

Favorite activities – Being lifted up in the air on your tummy, talking, eating, reaching for things, taking your bath, cuddling with mama, sitting in your highchair playing with kitchen utensils, playing with your new light up toy camera

Least favorite activities – being laid down on your changing table when you’re hungry, waiting to eat.  That’s pretty much it!  You are a happy little babyJ

Big moments in your sixth month of life – Visited Great Grandma Barbara’s and Grandpa George’s just for fun – helped Grandpa make peanut brittle, visited your great great great Aunt Jean and Uncle Ollie, first trip to Duncan for your first Christmas celebration, started grabbing your feet, rolled from your back to your tummy

twin life:)

we’d rather do this than look at the camera:)

happy 5 months, linc

4 Dec

every single time I put you down for bed whether for naps or bedtime I get overwhelmed with emotion.  I just love the feeling of your little body against mine, your head against my chest, and I don’t ever want you to stop doing that.  And I don’t ever want to forget what it feels like.  But I know you will stop doing it.  I know my days are numbered.  And I’ve never felt so torn between two things before – wanting you to grow and learn and change….and wanting you to stay my little baby boy forever.

– from mama’s letter to you


What you weigh – 10 lbs. 7 oz.

What you eat
– You are still exclusively nursing.  You eat about every 3-3.5 hours, usually for about 10-15 minutes each time.  You are such a good eater – you’ll pretty much eat anything we give you, whether it’s prune juice, vitamins or milk.  And usually if I would let you, you would stay on and nurse all day long.  At night, you only eat one time around 11:30 or midnight, and then not again until7:30.

How you sleep –  You are sleeping really well these days.  You take 4 naps a day, each one about 45 minutes to an hour on average.  Some naps you cry a little bit before going to sleep, but if I put you down at just the right time, you can usually fall right asleep without crying.    At night you are sleeping great!  We put you down around 9 or 9:30 and you sleep until about 6:30 with a dream feed around 11:30 that you don’t even wake up for.  We’re so thankful the sleep training we did is finally paying off!

What you wear – You are fully in 0-3 months clothes, and you are starting to wear 3-6 months in some things like onesies.

Diaper – You are now wearing BumGenius Freetime All in One diapers.  You wear them on the smallest setting, except sometimes we leave a snap open in the middle.  They fit you perfectly, and we love them!

Favorite activities – Being lifted up in the air on your tummy, talking, eating, reaching for things, taking your bath

Least favorite activities – being laid down on your changing table when you’re hungry, waiting to eat

Big moments in your fifth month of life – first Thanksgiving, slept through the night for the first time, first trip to Tulsa to stay the night at Uncle Jamie’s and Aunt Kristin’s, first time to Harrah to stay at Grandma’s, started reaching for things

happy 5 months, vivi

4 Dec

we are so very much alike, sweet girl.  And lately I worry that because of that we will have to work at not driving each other crazy.  But I also know that will help us to understand each other better and bond us together in the best of ways.  You’ve only been in our world for 5 months, and I already can’t imagine my life without you!

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 9 lbs. 7 oz.

What you eat – you are still nursing full time.  Sometimes mama gets worried because you will eat for less than 10 minutes and then stop.  If I try to make you eat more you scream, but if I just let you lay there and look around you’re perfectly happy.  It’s hard to believe you can get all you want in that short amount of time, but I’m starting to learn that as along as you’re happy and content, then I’ll let you lead the way!  You eat about every 3- 3.5, sometimes 4 hours, but only because bubba gets ready.  Sometimes I wonder if you’d ever eat if it wasn’t for him.  You rarely act like you’re very hungry.  I guess you’re just not a big eater!  We’re having a little trouble sorting out your evening schedule right now.  Because you are stretching your feedings out a little more, your last feeding ends up landing at about 9 o’clock, which mama thinks is a little late by the time you get your bath and get in bed.  But I also don’t want to drop one of your feedings yet…so we’re trying to figure out a good solution.  After your last feeding, you go to bed and sleep for about 3 hours before I get you up and feed you again.  You don’t even wake up to eat that feeding…you’re pretty good at eating in your sleep!  After that you don’t eat again until 7:30.

How you sleep – You love to sleep!  Naps are so so easy with you now.  When you get sleepy, I go in the nursery, turn on your sound machine, swaddle you and lay you down and you go right to sleep.  You usually sleep for at least an hour and a half if not longer.  You now get to keep one arm out of your swaddle so you can suck on your fingers.  As long as you have your fingers you sleep just fine and don’t even wake up mid-nap.  Same story at night.  You are out like a light.  Other than your 11:30 feeding, which you don’t even wake up for, you sleep straight through until about 6:30 or 7.  Then you lay in bed and talk to yourself until we get you up to eat around 7:30.

What you wear – You are now fully in 0-3 months size.  All your up to seven pounds sized stuff is too small, but I’m having a little bit of a problem packing it away so for now it’s still taking up space in your closet.  One of these days I pull myself together and put it away.  As much as I love the fact that you are growing, I just can’t bear the thought of losing my tiny little baby girl.

Diaper – You are now wearing the regular sized Bum Genius Freetime all in one diaper.  It fits you great and rarely leaks at all.  Sometimes we snap it on the tightest setting, but sometimes we even leave a snap open in the middle.

Favorite activities – sitting up facing out, hearing the sound of tape being pulled, holding/chewing on your sophie teether, sleeping, standing up, bathtime, holding hands with bubba

Least favorite activities:  getting burped, laying down on your back

Big moments in your fifth month of life – Slept through the night! Started reaching for toys, rolled from your front to your back, lifted your upper body up during tummy time, first trip staying the night at Grandma’s in Harrah, first trip staying the night at Uncle Jamie and Aunt Kristin’s in Tulsa

the story of lincoln and vivian's arrival. part 3.

2 Nov

Part 1.

Part 2.

I grudgingly put on the hospital gown and made my way to the bed where Kenzie began strapping me into all kinds of monitors.  Now we’re talking, I thought to myself as graphs and images appeared on the computer screen to my left.  Within seconds the sound of the babies’ heartbeats became discernible, and we could see the steady rhythms on the screen.  A sigh of relief whooshed out of me, and I began to relax just a little.  Aside from the heart monitors, I was also hooked up to a contraction monitor.  Finally we were going to find out if what I’d been feeling all night were actually contractions or just something else insignificant.  After watching for what felt like forever, Kenzie confirmed that they were actually contractions.  But at this point they were not nearly as intense and were very sporadic.  She didn’t seem super concerned at this point, so neither were Jon or I.

After several more routine checks, I was told that they were going to check my cervix.  I had of  course had my cervix checked a number of times in the preceding weeks, so I began to gear up for what was coming.  After making a few last minute preparations, she checked me.  As she finished, she informed us that I was dilated to a 4.  I was very confused at first because she didn’t act alarmed at all, so I double checked to make sure I understood what she was saying.  I knew a 4 wasn’t like the baby was about to come out, but it seemed a little far considering I was only 32 weeks.  After calling the doctor back again, she calmly told us that we would not be leaving the hospital and that they were going to transfer us to another room.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement.  Sadly the details of what happened next are already a little fuzzy, but I know they immediately wheeled me down the hall and into a new room where they hooked me up once again to all the monitors as Jon and I sat in disbelief.  I began to think through all the things that were left undone at home…all the things I didn’t bring with me…and all the things I still needed to prepare before babies’ arrival.  But I was quickly realizing that none of that was really going to matter.  Shortly after arriving to my new home around 2 in the morning, we were told that in order to stop the contractions, they were going to put me on a magnesium drip.  The magnesium would slow down my entire system, and therefore hopefully stop the contractions, which were working to further dilate me.  I vaguely remember being told that the magnesium could have some side effects, but nothing could have prepared me for how it made me feel.  My whole body heated up like a furnace, radiating heat through my face, my neck…my entire body.  As it worked to slow down the contractions, it also slowed down everything else which left me unable to even lift my arms.  I couldn’t use my muscles or even focus my eyes on anything.  When someone would talk to me I would try to look at them, and my eyes would just cross, my eyelids hanging heavy.  I’ve never felt anything like it before.  While it left me feeling extremely miserable, it did in fact stop my contractions, and by morning we were all feeling much less alarmed about the babies’ coming.  I was only 32 weeks, and the twins were definitely not ready to thrive in the outside world.  At this point our goal was to keep them in as long as possible, whether that be another 3 days or 3 weeks.  Thankfully the babies themselves were doing great, and all the nurses kept bragging on them, which made me a really proud mama:)  And I got to fall asleep to their heartbeats every night, so if there ever was a plus to hospital bedrest that was definitely it.

Over the course of the next 10 days (day 2, day 5, day 6, day 9) the days became a bit monotonous.  I was in and out of labor, and off and on magnesium on a daily basis.  At one point, they gave me a little break from the magnesium and treated me with a Breathine shot instead.  Ironically, instead of slowing down my system, this sped things up, making my heart race and my body feel jittery.  Thankfully, Jon was able to take off work some as well as work from the hospital room quite a bit.  His office was a stone’s throw away from my hospital room, which was such a blessing.  I spent the days either trying to get through the pain or being mostly incoherent from the medication.  There were some easier moments that I would use to write a blog post or have a visitor, but almost every time visitors would leave, contractions would inevitably start back up, so we tried to keep people at bay.  I’m not much of a TV watcher, but OKC Thunder was in the playoffs during that week, so Jon and I watched our first games of that season on some evenings.

While it was the hardest 10 days of my life, it was also really hard on Jon.  He was trying to keep up not only with his day job, but also his side business, keep me company, communicate what was going on with me to everyone and take care of things at the house among other things.  I can’t imagine how he could have done more to keep us both sane and things running smoothly on the outside, while in that little hospital room it felt like life was on pause.  I really don’t know what I would have done without him.

the day before the twins were born

one of my favorite visitors:)

loved it when Jon brought these from home…I just kept staring at them:)

my view from bed

keepin’ it real

sweet gift from Jon’s aunts

the cafeteria didn’t quite know how to handle my vegetarianism, but they could make a mean fruit plate

never gets old

There were moments when our time in the hospital seemed like it would never end, and we found ourselves torn between wanting it to end and wanting it to last so that the babies could keep growing.  Mostly we just wanted to make sure they were going to be healthy.  But on day 10 we woke up early after a long night of contractions, having no idea that it would be the scariest, but most incredible day of our lives.

to be continued…

happy 4, baby Linc

30 Oct

There are so many things I love about you at this age.  I love when you stick your bottom lip out right before you get really really mad.  I love how you get so excited and talk louder and louder during play time.  You love to entertain yourself!  I love the arch of your back when I unswaddle you and you stretch out.  I love how most mornings I go to get you out of bed and you’re laying there awake and quiet just looking around.  I love when you stop nursing and just look up at me with your big blue eyes.  I love your chubby little feet.  I love how your eyebrows have just come in over the last couple of weeks – they’re just like your daddy’sJ  I love when you sleep on my shoulder or just lay on my shoulder and look around.

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 9 lbs. 8 oz.

What you eat
– nursing full time! Right now you are still eating every 3 hours during the day.  At the end of this month Dr. Sigler finally gave us permission to let you sleep until you wake up at night, and the first time we let you, you slept almost 10 hours!  I fed you at about 7:30, we put you in your crib about 9, and you slept until 4:30 am!  We couldn’t believe it.  You did that several nights in a row, and then we noticed you weren’t gaining weight any more.  So, we started giving you a dream feed around 10:30.  For some reason you just don’t sleep quite as well or as long the more we wake you up to eat, so as of this week we’ve been waking you up to eat around 2 or 3, and we’re hoping your weight gain will be okay.  You also have been in a growth spurt this past week, so I’ve been feeding you in between your three hour feedings.  Sometimes we struggle with your eating because you still like to fall asleep a bit too much during feedings, but I’m hoping that you’ll get better and better as the weeks go by.

How you sleep – Your sleeping habits are kind of like a roller coaster.  One week you sleep great and the next I feel like we have so much progress we need to make.  Overall, you just don’t need as much sleep as your sister.  I think if I would let you, you would try to stay up all day long and never take a nap!  Your daddy and I have to spend a lot of time soothing you before we put you down and you usually have to still spend a few minutes crying before you fall asleep.  You rarely sleep longer than about 30-45 minutes before waking up again, and only when we give you your pacifier will you go back to sleep. The good news is that we often get extra mama and Lincoln time while sissy is sleeping (shhh, don’t give us awayJ).  You sleep great at night though.  After getting permission from the doctor for you to sleep until you wake up, you slept almost 10 hours the first night!  Now at the end of the month, you go to bed around 9, I wake you up at 3 to eat and then you sleep until about 7.  While your daddy and I are still super sleep deprived because of work and pumping, it has helped a little bit that you’re only getting up once during the night now.  I know we are pretty lucky!

What you wear – You are fully in 0-3 months clothes!   I finally cleaned out your closet the other day and made myself take out your newborn clothes.  It was a very bittersweet moment for me.  It makes me so happy to see you getting bigger, but sometimes it scares me how fast you are growing.  I want you to stay my little baby boy forever!

Diaper – You are still wearing the Bum Genius newborn size with the hemp inserts, but you are getting very near being too big for them.  On a couple of occasions the Velcro has busted open!  Any day now you’re going to have to start wearing the bigger size.  Another bittersweet milestone for mama and daddyJ

Favorite activities – laying on your playmat, being held, going places, tummy time, rolling over, eating

Least favorite activities – waiting to eat, sleeping, being weighed

Big moments in your fourth month of life – you started laughing, you started lifting your head super high for a long time during tummy time, first trip to church, started holding hands and linking arms with Vivi, first solo outing with Daddy (to Whole Foods)

happy happy 4 months, sweet Vivi

29 Oct

There are so many things I love so much about you as you grow and change.  I love the way you stop nursing at times and just turn and stare at me with the sweetest little look on your face.  I love how you have new, spiky little hairs growing in, but also still long hairs that seem to still be in place from when you were born.  I love how big your cheeks have continually gotten and the way they make your eyes crinkle up when you smile.  I love how you are so big to stand on your own, but you are still so wobbly and jerky from the waist up because you’re still my tiny baby girl.  I love how delicate your little fingernails are and how they contrast with your chubby little hands and wrists.  I love how squishy you have become.  I love how your little feet and ankles look when you stand up.

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 8 lbs. 6 oz.

What you eat – nursing full time still! Right now you are still eating every 3 hours during the day.  At the end of this month Dr. Sigler finally gave us permission to let you sleep until you wake up at night, and the first time we let you, you slept almost 10 hours!  I fed you at about 7:30, we put you in your crib about 9, and you slept until 4:30 am!  We couldn’t believe it.  You did that several nights in a row, and then we noticed you weren’t gaining weight any more.  So, we started giving you a dream feed around 10:30.  For some reason you just don’t sleep quite as well or as long the more we wake you up to eat, so as of this week we’ve been waking you up to eat around 2 or 3, and we’re hoping your weight gain will be okay.  Sometimes we still struggle with you falling asleep when you’re supposed to be eating, but you’re getting better all the time.
How you sleep – You are still our good little sleeper.  You sleep awesome at night.  Right now we put you down after your bath at about 9 o’clock and you sleep until 4am unless we wake you up earlier to eat. Then you go back down and wake up about 7 – 7:30.  You never cry at night, and I have to wake you to eat.  Sometimes I wonder if you’d just keep right on sleeping until morning if we let you.  Naptime has been a little hard this month.  You eat about every 3 hours now, and your naps range from an hour and fifteen minutes to an hour and a half.   You still cry a little bit while you’re falling asleep, but not for very long.  I can always count on your to pass out pretty soon after I put you down.  Usually you wake up after about 45 minutes, but I just give you your paci and we’re good to go!  Hopefully we’ll keep getting better!

What you wear – One of my favorite things in the world is dressing you up.  You are so darn cute in everything!  I try to coordinate you and Linc when I can, but sometimes you just have to be your own girlJ  You can technically still fit in the up to seven lbs. size from Gap, but it is really getting too small for you.  0-3 months clothes fit you really well, aside from some pants and tights.
Diaper – You are still wearing the Bum Genius newborn sized cloth diaper.  Although the other day I tried the bigger sized Bum Genius on you, and it fit you pretty well.  As soon as we can purchase them, we’ll probably go ahead and move you up!
Favorite activities – bath time, being toted around the house while being held up where you can see everything, swinging, sitting in your Bumbo seat, standing up

Least favorite activities:  the end of playtime when you start to get sleepy (you get mad!), laying down where you can’t see what’s going on, getting burped (although you’re really good at itJ), moving from the bathtub to your towel when you’re wet, tummy time

Big moments in your fourth month of life – your first laugh, first trip to church, linking arms and holding hands with Linc, first time to stay home with mama without Linc

happy 3 months, Vivi

30 Sep

Now that you are three months old, I feel like it has been a very long time since I’ve gotten any good sleep, and sometimes that makes me kind of grumpy.  Just today at lunch I told your daddy that despite my grumpiness I wanted him to know how much I love getting to stay home with you and your brother.  For every moment in the day that I feel tired, there are a thousand more that make me feel on top of this world, just because they are spent with you.  Daddy responded by telling me that he already knows that because he can see it in my eyes.  Even at 3:30 am when I get up to nurse you, he can see it in my eyes.

from mama’s three month letter to you

What you weigh – 7 lbs. 7 oz.

What you eat – nursing full time still!

How you sleep – Aside from a few day span last week, you are still our good little sleeper.  You sleep awesome at night.  Right now we put you down after your bath at about 8 o’clock and you sleep until 1am.  You eat and then you sleep until about 4:30am.  Then you go back down and wake up about 7 – 7:30.  You never cry at night, and I have to wake you to eat.  You usually look at me like “what in the world are you doing waking me up?!”  There’s no telling how long you’d go if we let you wake us up.  I hope we get to find out sometime soonJ  Naptime has been a little hard this month.  You eat about every 3 hours now, and your naps range from an hour and a half to an hour and forty five minutes.  Most of this month, your daddy and I have had a really hard time getting you to nap.  You want to wake up and cry ever 20 minutes or so!  But recently you’ve gotten better to where you usually cry for just a couple of minutes when I lay you down, but it doesn’t take long for you to pass out.  Usually you wake up after about 45 minutes, but I just give you your paci and we’re good to go!  Hopefully we’ll keep getting better!

What you wear – One of my favorite things in the world is dressing you up.  You are so darn cute in everything!  I try to coordinate you and Linc when I can, but sometimes you just have to be your own girlJ  You are still wearing your “up to seven pounds” clothes from Gap, but they are getting smaller and smaller.  You also wear some 0-3 months stuff now too.

Diaper – You are still wearing the Bum Genius newborn sized cloth diaper.

Favorite activities – bath time, being toted around the house while being held up where you can see everything, swinging, sitting in your Bumbo seat, bouncing

Least favorite activities:  the end of playtime when you start to get sleepy (you get mad!), laying down where you can’t see what’s going on, getting burped (although you’re really good at itJ)

Big moments in your third month of life – your first overnight trip with mama and daddy to Dallas, your first smile