happy 6 months sweet viv

I cannot believe it has already been six months since you were born.  All day I’ve been intent on celebrating you and your bubba, but I’m fighting this sadness that threatens to take over.   The sadness of you growing up and not being my sweet, tiny little baby anymore.  I know life is only going to get better as I get to know you better and better and as you grow and learn, but it is so hard to feel like time is flying by so fast, and there’s nothing I can do to slow it down.  Every time I rock you to sleep or just hold and cuddle you I wish more than anything that there was a pause button where I could freeze time and hold you forever.  But I know that’s not possible and it’s not what God intended.  And I truly am excited about each new stage you are going to go through.  Life is so good with you in it, baby girl.

– from mama’s letter to you

What you weigh – 10 lbs. 1 oz.

What you eat – Nothing has really changed since last month.  You are still nursing full-time.  And while I still have feedings where I worry about how much you’re eating, I feel like we’ve really hit a stride.  Life is just easy now, and we’ve really settled into our new normal.  Guess we better get ready for things to change soon, haha!
How you sleep – You’re still our little sleeper!  Many of your naps are as long as 2.5 hours, and most are at least an hour and a half.  We hit a huge milestone this past week, and you are no longer getting swaddled for naps!  You sleep on your tummy with a blanket over your back, and you seem to really love it.  I don’t know if it was just coincidence but when we started sleeping you that way, your naps got even longer.  And I have to say, one of my absolute favorite moments of the day is when I go in and get you up from your nap.  I love picking you up off your tummy and cuddling you before I change your diaper.
What you wear – You’re still wearing 0-3 months.  I’ve started buying you 3-6 now to last you through the end of winter, but it’s all pretty big on you.
Diaper – Still on the tightest snap of Bum Genius Freetime, and we’re still loving them!
Favorite activities – bath time, laying on your towel after getting out of the bath – you don’t like to be swaddled up in the towel.  For the longest time we thought you were fussing after coming out of the bath because you were cold, but then we discovered you just don’t want the towel wrapped around you!  Facing out where you can see everything, listening to tape being pulled, laying in bed and talking in the morning, sleeping

Least favorite activities:  getting burped, laying down on your back, being wrapped up in a towel after your bath
Big moments in your sixth month of life –Visited Great Grandma Barbara’s and Grandpa George’s just for fun – helped Grandpa make peanut brittle, visited your great great great Aunt Jean and Uncle Ollie, first trip to Duncan for your first Christmas celebration, found your voice, started grabbing your feet

hospital day 7

I don’t have a super exciting update today…I had to have the Breathine shot a couple of different times last night because of contractions, but it’s kind of becoming old hat I guess.   I did let the nurse give me a sleeping pill last night, which I refused the first night I was on the Breathine shot.  And it did help tremendously.  It’s so ironic to me that I spent the first 30 weeks of my pregnancy fighting through terrible headaches etc. because I didn’t want to put any kind of medication in my body…and now look at me.  All hell has broken loose it seems, and I’m taking about 18 pills a day (exaggeration).  I guess when it comes down to it, I realize I just have to do what I have to do.

There is really absolutely nothing about this experience (as of the last couple of weeks anyway) that has matched up to what I envisioned for us.  Even though I knew bedrest was a real possibility with twins, I just kind of naively thought that my body would be able to handle it just fine.  I’d tell people all the time that I had a feeling I’d go to 40 weeks.  ha!  I also allowed myself to think positively and assume the babies would be in positions that would not require me to have a c-sections, but alas, they are both breech and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.  I’ve had a lot of trouble letting go of my dream and how I envisioned everything to be…and I’m still having trouble letting go of it.  But I’m trying.  I obviously know that the only thing that matters is that our babies get here safely and are healthy and get all the help they need to be well.  That is definitely my top priority.

But the thought of having to finish up my c-section surgery/recovery while they’re being whisked away to the NICU is almost more than I can bear.  I don’t know how long it will really be before I’ll get to get up and go see them – I’ve heard anywhere from an hour and a half to 24 hours (!).  Last night when the nurse offhandedly said 24 hours, I waited until she left before completely losing it.  Granted I’m probably a little extra emotional right now too, but I just want to have my babies with me.  I’ve been in this bed so long, and the thought of having to continue to lay in it knowing they’re down the hall tears me apart.  The nurse sweetly assured me that the husband could go down and take pictures and bring them back to me…and I’m not going to lie I kind of wanted to throw something at her.  Pictures?  Seriously?

As I referenced in a post a couple of weeks ago, I definitely feel like I’m being taught lessons in letting go of control of things.  The sad truth is that what is going to happen with the birth of our babies is going to happen, and there’s really not a single thing I can do at this point.  I think mothers in general have more choices when having a traditional delivery, but I am definitely at the mercy of my doctor in this situation. It doesn’t really matter anymore what I wanted or what I think is best…all that matters is him doing whatever he can to bring our babies into the world in the best way possible.  Luckily I trust my doctor with my life…but it doesn’t make letting go any easier.

Thankfully, though, while their mama is having a bit of a rough time, our sweet babies are doing just fine.  Our ultrasound yesterday showed that baby boy is apparently stealing all the good hospital food from baby girl because there has suddenly become quite a discrepancy between their weights.  My doctor ordered a second ultrasound to check some things and make sure she’s still healthy and doing fine, despite her weight different, and ironically she passed with flying colors and he missed a couple of points, haha.  So, it looks like despite her small size, she’s going to be a fighter and give her brother a run for his money.  Way to go baby girl!

In the meantime I’m just focusing on one day at a time.  I know it won’t be long and this will all look like a small blip in our life, and I cannot wait for that.  I guess when things get though, it makes the end just that much sweeter.  And I can definitely say the thought of seeing our babies faces for the first time and then getting to take them home (even if it’s weeks later) sounds like a surreal dream that can’t possible every come true because it’s just too good.  So, I will think on that.

hospital day 5

Written on Thursday ~

Well, today is day 5 in the hospital, and I’m still pregnant, so that’s reason to celebrate for sure!  I’m wanting to keep updating every day, but it’s proving to be a challenge.  When this is all said and done, I want to be able to remember what happened each step of the way, so updates may get a little tedious.  Also, they’re wanting me to stay laying on my side as much as possible, which makes typing a bit difficult, but I’m working with what I’ve got.  Things are definitely getting interesting around here:)

On Tuesday morning they reduced my dosage of magnesium which was great, and I started feeling almost like a new person.  Unfortunately, sometime Tuesday evening my contractions started back up again.  I almost fell out of the hospital bed when the nurse told me that my doctor wanted to raise my dosage back up higher than what it had even been before.  I honestly couldn’t imagine what that was going to do to me, and I was pretty nervous.

My mom and sister had come up that afternoon and washed my hair for me (yay!) which was quite the process for sure.  Anyone who knows me knows that I’m pretty high maintenance about being clean and having my hair clean, so this whole “can’t get out of bed thing” is proving to be a challenge.  Praise the Lord for sweet nurses, husbands, sisters and moms who are here to help a girl out:)

Also on Monday afternoon, I had two other visitors – one was the girl who I ended up buying my newborn sized cloth diapers from, and the other was our Sunday school teacher’s wife who came bearing cheesecake!  Needless to say it was an epic afternoon.  Maybe a little too epic?  I don’t know if all the excitement might have contributed to the contractions starting back up again, but I’m being a lot more careful now.

So, back to Tuesday night.  They decided to up my dosage exponentially.  Jon and I spent the evening watching the Thunder game as the magnesium slowly made its way through the IV line and back into my body.  Tuesday night was pretty rough obviously as I was delirious and the nurse was coming in every hour to check on me.  Sleep was definitely not even a consideration for Jon or I.  But the good news – the contractions subsided again.  By Wednesday morning, my doctor decided to dial the magnesium down to a more normal level again.  It’s funny because when I’m on a normal level, I tend to forget I’m on it at all because it’s such an improvement from the heightened dosage.  So, yesterday I was on a pretty normal level and I didn’t have any contractions, and now today he’s dialing it down even more as he’s trying to wean me off.  He checked in with me early this morning and just said he’s going to let me go off of it and we’ll see what happens, but I may have to go back on.

So at this point it’s literally just a waiting game.  We’re praying I can stay off the magnesium (he’s putting me on a milder pill instead) and not have any contractions.  I’m trying to stay laying down and limit social interaction as much as possible.  I definitely have moments where I feel like I’m going to go crazy, but I just keep thinking about how bad I want our baby boy and girl to stay inside me.  Their heartbeats are a constant background noise in our hospital room and serve as a super motivating reminder of why I’m here.

Honestly, deep down I’m scared about what’s to come.  I’m scared about the unknown.  Mostly I’m scared about our babies coming early and having problems that I can’t fix for them.  But I’m really trying to focus as much as possible on what I have to be thankful for.  It sounds cliche, but I am so so thankful to have these two little babies inside me just waiting to come out.  I feel confident that one way or another they’re going to be okay, and that’s what’s keeping me going.  I’m praying constantly that God will help them grow and develop as fast as possible, but most of all that He will be glorified through all of this.  I know He has a plan for the each of our little ones, and this is just the beginning.  It’s hard to trust that this scary and difficult time is a part of that plan, but I know it is.

Thank you all for the sweet words of encouragement and prayers.  We are definitely feeling them as we go through this day by day, and we feel so blessed.

week 31

It is so hard for me to believe I am at 31 weeks!  I can definitely say that pregnancy has been the fastest time of my life.  I know all you moms out there are probably saying “just wait.”  It’s just crazy because it seems like just last week we got the call of “congratulations”

Not only does today mark 31 weeks, but it also is the end of my first week of bedrest.  I know I don’t look very bedresty in these pictures (meaning the makeup and jewelry…oh and the standing up:).  My doctor approved me to go to my last baby shower, so I got to get out and about yesterday!  It was such a sweet shower at Jonathan’s work…more to come on it later.

Stats about week 31:

Total weight gain so far: exactly 30 lbs. since starting IVF.  The topic of gaining weight could be another post in itself, but right now I’m feeling pretty good about 30 lbs.  I figure it would be ideal to put on another 10 or so before the babies come, but we’ll see.  My doctor is always happy, so I guess I’m happy!

What I’m wearing these days: mostly skirts and Gap pure body t’s when we have company.  Yoga pants/shorts and a t-shirt otherwise.   I’ve stopped buying any maternity clothes, and now I’m trying to get a few things to feel good in once the babies get here.  Skirts with foldover/elastic waist bands, a few nursing camis, shirts that can be pulled down/to the side in the front.

Stretch marks? So far none, and I am keeping my fingers crossed.  I have always assumed I would get stretch marks, especially once I found out it was twins.  But so far so good.  Although I totally realize I could still have 6 or 7 weeks left, so the idea that I won’t get any might be unrealistic.  A girl can hope, though.

Sleep? Sleep is definitely going downhill because of more and more bathroom trips during the night.  I’ve been getting up pretty much every two hours.  I don’t really mind having to get up to go to the bathroom…but what really annoys me is when I can’t fall back asleep.  Although now that I’m on bedrest, I have plenty of time to catch up during the day, so it’s not that big of a deal.  I really do feel like I’m just preparing my body to be up throughout the night for feedings…and I’m totally fine with that!

Signs of Labor:  nope!  The doctor keeps asking me expectantly if I’m having any contractions (Braxton Hicks or otherwise), and I just keep saying no.  Given the issue of my shortening cervix and whatnot, I’m a bit surprised and super thankful that I’m not having contractions yet.  Let’s keep it that way, body!  I do sometimes wonder if I could be having them and I’m just not recognizing what they are…since I don’t know what they feel like and all.  But I know that’s probably really silly.

Symptoms:  Lots of round ligament and other pains.  Moving hurts.  That’s all.  I’m so happy that my swelling has gone away since being on bedrest though!  Unfortunately I never got a picture of how swollen my legs, ankles and feet were, but take my word for it…they were bad.  I couldn’t even recognize them any more.  Now they are completely back to normal, and I am eating it up!  I’m pretty sure Jon is sick of me admiring myself and talking about how nice it is to have my old legs back.  The best part has been getting to wear fun summer shoes the few times I have left the house.  The last week of school I was down to one lonely pair of flip flops that would actually go on my feet.  I even painted my own toenails this past week…which was an epic event.  I still can’t quite believe I was able to do it…pretty impressive methinks.  Oh, and a couple of symptoms I’m kind of (read: extremely) embarrassed to mention – constipation and hemorrhoids.  There, I said it.  Super awkward, but my reality right now.  I’m kind of bitter that not one person ever told me about the possibility of these two things.  They are like a force of evil, working together to  take over my life I think.

Baby items still left to buy:  the rest of our cloth diapers, cloth diaper approved diaper rash ointment (just in case!), Ergo carrier for the husband, one Boppy pillow (not an absolute necessity), cloth wipes/wipes holder and a couple of pack n’ play sheets (they’ll be sleeping in our room for a couple of weeks).   There are of course other things I’d really like to get before they come, but these are the things I feel like we really have to get.

Today my sweet mom is coming up to clean our house, help me start washing the babies’ clothes and organizing them, and she’s going to cook me a quinoa dish…I’m pretty excited.  The only thing that could make it better is if I could get up and help!  I guess you can’t win ’em all though.  I’m so so thankful to have family around that has done so much for us.

Yay for week 31!  Stay in there and keep growing, babies!

babies shower

Jon and I are in awe of how many people are already loving our little babies.  We’ve had three showers already, and each and every one was so unique and special…planned just to celebrate baby boy and baby girl.

Our first one was in my hometown the Saturday before last, and my sister, aunt, mom and cousin worked so hard to make it special.  It had a summery vintage theme complete with an old school chalkboard, lemonade, sweet tea and cupcakes!  Everyone from family to my mom’s friends from work came out.

My sister played emcee, bringing much comedy to the day.  And Jon totally dominated with all his baby knowledge – from how many diapers we’ll use in a day to how many he’ll actually change:)  He is going to be such a good daddy.  I can’t wait:)

My mom made us these precious scrapbooks.  If you know me, you know that I love stuff like this.  It means so much because she put in so much time to make them.  They have pages for all the major events in the babies’ lives – like their first Sunday to go to church, their first trip to our lake cabin, their first jog and a travel page where we can put pictures of all the new places we’ll show them.  Olive even got her very own page.

I think the babies already have more clothes than I do…definitely more than their daddy.  The amount of gifts our sweet guests brought was completely overwhelming.   It is unreal to me how generous our friends and family are.  The twins are two blessed little babies for sure.

What a joyful day.  It seemed so surreal that we were actually having a baby shower.  For our own babies.  I never thought the day would come.  I still have to remind myself that all this is real, and days like this one make it all the more unbelievable.

After the shower we got to hang around my mom and step dad’s house for a few hours, cook hamburgers outside and just spend time together.  One of my all time favorite days:)

Week 20: update post

Thanks so much for all the sweet congrats on my last post.  I’ve waited what seems like a lifetime to make that announcement, and I’m so thankful and humbled that God finally allowed it to happen!  You all just made it that much sweeter.

So, here’s a quick breakdown of the last few months:

November 12, 2011 – We had our embryos transferred and felt like we were already pregnant.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel scared that it wouldn’t work…but from the moment we left the hospital, we never stopped praying for our babies.  I would lay on the couch and talk to them all the time, envisioning them as strong, healthy babies.  From day one it felt like they were here to stay.

after transfer

November 21, 2011: We both left work a little early and met at home to wait for the call.  We waited…and waited…and waited.  And finally about 15 minutes after we were supposed to receive the call, we broke down and dialed the clinic.  After identifying myself and holding for eternity, the nurse answered the phone with a “congratulations!”  We’ve never felt so full of joy.  I was considered 4 weeks already:)  We drove straight to Baby Gap and bought onesies.

November 24 – 25, 2011: Shared with the family and gave so many thanks.

December 12, 2011: Week 7. All day nausea set in.  Sick in the morning…sick at night.  I had no appetite at all, and the only things that sounded somewhat edible were things I would usually never consider putting in my body.  Sorry babies.

December 22, 2011:  Week 8.  Went for our 2nd ultrasound and got the biggest surprise of our lives – not 1 but 2 babies! Praise the Lord.  We spent the following 2 weeks celebrating Christmas and sharing our 2nd piece of amazing news with our families. Oh, and of course every 10 minutes saying to each other “are we really having twins???”

sadly, we didn’t get any pics when we told mom and dad McCoy

Weeks 9- 13: Sick. sick. sick.  But oh, so happy.  I literally did almost nothing besides go to work and come home and lay on the couch for over a month.  Jon gets major daddy/husband points for keeping the house running and going on wild goose chases to find anything I could eat.  Oh, and lots and lots of backrubs.  I’ve heard people say that a woman becomes a mom when she gets pregnant, but a man doesn’t become a dad until the baby (ies:) is born.  Not true for my husband.  In a way, he’s been taking care of these babies for months already!

Week 14: Started to feel a tiny bit better.  We decided to make the big announcement on Facebook and the blog.  Up until this point, I was so so thankful for the little babies inside me, but I had a really hard time letting go of my fear and just trusting God.  For 18 months I had longed to be pregnant, and in my mind I think I had decided that it could never really happen.  Every month had brought so much hurt, and it seemed impossible that it could have finally happened. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but the fear of losing them terrified me.  When we announced our news to the world, I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.  It finally felt real, and I finally started really believing that our babies were going to be okay.

Week 15: Took my first picture of the bump!

Week 16: Bump picture number 2.  This was the week I finally started to really feel almost like myself again.  The nausea completely subsided, and I even started to feel a little more energetic!

Week 17:

Week 17 was pretty monumental.  I worked out for the first time in 3 months!   And I felt so good about it. When I started the IVF process, I was told I shouldn’t have physical activity, and since I followed every wives tale from eating pineapple  to trying to laugh a lot after transfer….eating more eggs…you name it, stopping my workouts was a no brainer.  And of course it just continued from there – I felt too scared of hurting the babies in those paranoid first several weeks of being pregnant, and then I was so sick I could barely talk on the phone much less get off the couch.  So finally on Monday of week 17 I pulled out the prenatal bootcamp DVD my mom got me for Christmas and then I went for a long walk on two different days after that.  Sad how accomplished I feel about walking around the neighborhood.  I finally feel like I’m doing something good for myself and for the twins.

Week 18:

baby a:)

This was the week we found out the gender of our little babies!  I was so nervous that they wouldn’t cooperate for the ultrasound and we’d be disappointed…but they were good little babies.  Let’s hope that’s a good indication of the months/years to come:)  The ultrasound tech started off by just letting us see them while she took pictures to send to our doctor.  Then it was baby A’s turn to be examined.  It only took a matter of seconds to find out Baby A’s gender – and we were so excited!!  We also learned that Baby A will be the first one to come into the world if all goes as planned.  Next was Baby B’s turn.  This time it took a little longer to figure it out, but in the end both genders were as clear as day!  The second best part of this ultrasound was finding exactly where each baby is hanging out in there.  Now I have a good idea of where they are, and knowing that plus their genders makes this that much more real.  I’ll tell whether we’ll be an all boy house, all girl, or one of each in an upcoming post:)

As soon as the ultrasound was over, I had this devious feeling of wanting to keep everyone in suspense, but I resisted.  We went home and called parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles and our friends to let them know the exciting news.  I loved getting to tell everyone, but by the end of all the excitement, I was exhausted!

Week 19

Week 19 was almost as exciting as the previous week because I felt the babies move for the first time.  I’d been willing them to give me a few good hard kicks for a couple of weeks, but so far I’d felt nothing!  The first few times I felt them left me excited, but also wondering if it really was them.  But after it happened several more times, and I was feeling it on both sides, I realized that yes, it really was our 2 little babies making their presence known!  One thing that made me doubtful at first was that it didn’t feel like a flutter like many people said it would.  It felt more like a really soft little bump from the inside.

Week 20:  and now I’m finally caught up!

Okay, I know I’m going to look back on this and laugh at myself, but I feel like I look huge in this picture!  Not sure if it’s the stripes or if I’ve just doubled in size since last week…but either way I think the baby belly looks large and in charge:)  This week we had another appointment, but no ultrasound.  We did get to hear the heartbeats (which sound like little trains to me by the way) and the doctor checked me and said everything looks perfect!  Yay!  So far I’ve gained 12 pounds.  I wasn’t really sure if that was good or not, but my nurse assured me I’m right on track.  What a relief!  I’ve also been getting in some really solid 3 mile walks this week, which have felt so good.  And we ordered a treadmill, so I see many more walks in my future:)

And now for some randomness from the first trimester (which is obviously a little outdated, but I really wanted to document it somewhere)!

Symptoms (some known and some only I am convinced are because of pregnancy)
nausea (of course), earaches, out of control sense of smell, exhaustion,
lots of bathroom trips, congestion, increased pulse (Jon doesn’t buy this one, but it’s for real),
bad taste in my mouth

Food aversions
pizza, vegetables, mexican food, chips and salsa, diet coke

Food cravings
lime chips, mac and cheese, cheerios, pad thai, orange juice

I realize this post was a complete overload of updates, but the combination of sickness, exhaustion and most recently, pure laziness has inhibited my blogging.  I am kicking myself for not being better about documenting the last few months, and now it’s time for a fresh start.

So, look for upcoming posts on our last big trip just the two of us, nursery updates, the gender reveal!, and how my eating has changed since pad thai and cheerios!

we've got news…

God has blessed us beyond what we ever could have imagined.

We are SO thankful!!

happy 5

Last weekend the husband and I took off to celebrate our fifth year of being husband and wife.  Full of sleeping in, shopping and long conversations over good food the weekend was every bit as sweet as I’d imagined it.

I still remember the onslaught of unsolicited advice we received the summer we got married about how difficult marriage would be and how things would never be the same again.

Well, things have certainly not been the same.  They’ve been so much better.  I’m not trying to paint an unrealistic picture of roses and rainbows, but there’s no doubt at all that my happiest years have been the years since I was joined with him.  Marriage gets a bad name from so many people these days, but I can tell you for a facet that there are happy marriages too.  I don’t buy for one second that marriage is constant hard work.

Everything really is better when we’re together whether we’re exploring our new city, working at home or falling asleep at night.  Choosing him to be by my side was the best decision I’ve ever made.

When times are tough as they so often are, I am most thankful for our love and friendship.  Someone to talk things through with, cry with and sometimes just sit in silence with – he’s my rock.

I’m so excited about all the life we’ve lived together in these five years – living overseas, parenting a puppy, new jobs, six moves, living with parents and building a house – and I am so ready for the adventures the coming years will bring.  I think life will only get more challenging as more responsibilities come our way and we continue to live through heartbreak and struggles, but the joys will be so much deeper too.

I love you, dear.  And I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
Happy 5.

we built a house

when we first decided to build our house, we named this song as our theme song for the project.  not very good video quality, but it was the best I could find.

A little over five months ago, the husband and I decided to do something a little crazy.  Having always been the types for adventure, we rarely take the simple route when it comes to big events in life, whether it be moving overseas for a year, running a marathon together or in this case – moving in with my mom and step-dad for four months and building a house.

But I’m happy to say we have a lot of life and learning tucked under our belts, and even in the midst of the most difficult and trying moments I’m so enthralled by doing life together.  The house building process was at the same time one of the most exciting and one of the most stressful projects we’ve tackled to date.

There were so many moments, on those long drives home after work where I just kept throwing out the question of why.  Why in the world did we sign up for this?  It’s so stressful and difficult.  But at the same time there were many feel good moments when we saw the results of our determination come to fruition through even the littlest details – air ducts being installed, the addition of light switch plates, or the little tree in our front yard, however dead it may be:)

I love when I walk around various rooms of our house, and every little piece has a story and a vivid memory.

“…remember when I got on your shoulders in the pitch dark of night and tried to make a big ‘x’ on our dining room ceiling so they’d know where to hang that light?”

or

“…remember the time we celebrated my new job by using our drywall in the middle of the living room as a table for our cupcakes?”

or

“…remember that  light that we ordered for our entryway only to realize upon it’s arrival that it was sized more for a hotel foyer than a modest sized house?

Overall it was worth every single decision, every moment commuting between work and my mom’s house, every disagreement and every stressful moment.  We’re now able to add one more challenging life experience to our ever growing collection of adventures, and baby it feels SO good to walk in our home at the end of every day and say “we did this together.”

We closed on our 2nd house at 2pm on Friday, June 24th, two days past our expected date, and with the help of several family members (God bless them:), we moved in that night.  However cliche it sounds, “good things come to those who wait” rang in my ears as we walked up the sidewalk to our house and the husband swept me up and carried me through the entry.

These days we’re loving all the extra time we have in the evenings, while trying desperately to revive our poor grass that was half dead before it was even laid.  The husband has become quite good friends with the sprinkler, and I’m falling more in love with my kitchen every day.

We are so grateful for the opportunity to go through this process and most of all for the blessing of having our own home now.  And of course one of the biggest highlights of it all has been getting our little baby dog back.  I know she had a great time at my grandpa and grandma’s.  They spoiled her rotten, and she loved every minute of it.  But we missed her like crazy, and are loving every minute of having her back at home with us.

While she misses watching the cows and chasing squirrels all day long, I think she’s adjusting back to city life quite well.  She’s finding her favorite spots inside and having a grand time exploring the neighborhood on our morning walks.

Now that we’re finally getting settled and life is beginning to get into a new routine, we’re ready and waiting for our next adventure.

What is the best adventure you’ve ever been on?

in our guest bedroom on a rainy night less than a week before we closed

Happy Friday!

By the way – while I don’t have very many inside pictures of our house to post right now, I’ll definitely put together a little photo tour once we get unpacked and the house doesn’t look like a tornado anymore.  Trust me, you don’t want to see that.

happy july 4

Hi.

Obviously it has been a long time since I’ve been around.  There has been so much going on in the last couple of months, and I hope to play catch up on everything in the coming days.  I can’t really say exactly why I’ve been checked out for so long…I guess all the changes that have been happening around here have overwhelmed me, and I’ve been spending all my time and energy absorbing it all and tucking it into the small recesses of my mind.  This time of life – the defeats and the victories – I’ve been swimming in every moment, and I want to learn and become a better me because of it all.

Since I last wrote, I have settled into my new job, we’ve moved into our house (yay!), we got Olive back (double yay!) and we became and aunt and uncle for the first time.  I appreciate so much the sweet emails and messages you’ve sent since my surgery in May; I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more times – the blogging community is so incredible, and I’m so thankful to be a part of it.  While I’m still dealing with some of the aftermath, I’m feeling pretty well overall, happy to be up and around.  So, thank you.

Despite the novel I could write on everything from the recent past (there will be plenty of time for that), for now I just want to wish you all a late happy Fourth of July!  I hope everyone had a relaxing and family filled holiday weekend.  The husband and I soaked up every minute of it right up until late Monday night.  Starting the day by swinging by our city’s parade, we were full of spirit and patriotism.  I have to say, though, that I don’t think we’ll be found at another parade until we have children old enough to appreciate it.   Parades are just not made for late twenties, childless families…or small paranoid dogs.  I know it’s hard to believe considering how happy we both look;)

The day picked up after we got back home, though, as I hit the kitchen to create something epically festive for our evening family cookout.  What started out in my head as a good old fashioned peach pie, quickly turned into Angela’s tarts (click for recipe!), made famous by her entry into Project Food Blog.  When it came down to it, I just couldn’t bring myself to break out the Crisco…I haven’t changed that much since I’ve been away!

I followed the recipe almost exactly – minus just a few small changes.  After much frustration over the custard not thickening, I finally decided to pour it into a saucepan and heat it on the stove-top, stirring continually.  This worked much better for me!

I also opted to leave out the nutritional yeast, resulting in a white custard as opposed to yellow.  I’m not a big custard person, so I’m sure white custard probably looks weird, but something about the yellow color really turned me off, and I don’t need any extra reasons for my family to think my food is weird.  I liked it white:) And obviously, I also used different fruit options – raspberries, peaches, strawberries, and one lone blueberry.

I was really happy with the way these turned out, and (with a wary eye) most of my family enjoyed them!

I didn’t get many pictures of the rest of the evening – the fireworks and family time went undocumented.  I’ve decided that for the most part, I thrive off photographing food and babies (Olive included of course.)  Nothing else is quite as fun.  So, I snapped a few too many shots of my swimsuit clad baby cousin and called it a night:)

The Fourth of July is a holiday that despite the sweat and sweltering heat you can’t help but love it.  For me it’s always been about the sweet comfort of Grandpa and Grandma’s house, thick with the smell of grilled burgers (veggie burger for me, please) followed by the hazy smoke from firecrackers.

It definitely is still so much about that, but now that I’m older my heart is filled with gratefulness for the freedom that we have here.  My new job has me mainly working with students from a country where women can’t even drive a car, and I’m burdened by the unfairness of it all.  Perspective is found in facts like this, as I struggle to come to terms with seeming unfairness in my own life.   And maybe for one minute, I can stop asking why for myself and instead ask why for an assortment of other folks, all the while thanking God that I was born in this great country.

Now that I’ve broke the silence, I’m looking forward to catching up on everything that’s been going on.  Life just isn’t the same with a dormant blog trust me.  I’m happy to be back.

And before I sign off, I positively have to leave you with a pic of my new baby nephew, Cooper.  He is precious.

Have a great day!